To Stay Home or Not to Stay Home....

Ever since I was a little girl, I have LOVED babies and little kids. I used to just love when the neighbors would call and ask me to "babysit" their kids! The parents were there the whole time and really I was just playing with their kids, but hey! I thought I was babysitting and they were able to get some things done around the house... Brilliant strategy and a definite win-win! I just couldn't wait to have my own babies some day!

From pretty early on, I knew I wanted to be a stay-at-home-mom. What I didn't anticipate was the amount of time it would take to become a mom (you can read the full story here)... I also did not intend to find a job that I absolutely love! A job that I didn't want to leave...

A little history on my "career path":

The University of Montana

I went to school at the University of Montana and graduated with a Bachelor's in Marketing... So, naturally after graduation, I got a job babysitting ;) Again, I just loved it! But after about a year of this, Casey and I decided it was time for me to move on.... But I wasn't sure what to move on too... Then out of what seemed like no where, God opened a door wide for me to walk through... That door was the door to our church, Harvest Church.  I sat in a number of different seats on the Harvest bus, but the Lord eventually gave me the reigns to lead the Kids Ministry program at our Lockwood Campus (the same campus my husband, the worship leader, works).

I instantly fell in love with this job! It was hard, challenging, but oh so rewarding. My first day in this role was on Easter... If you know anything about church work, you know that Christmas and Easter are the two most attended holidays of the year! I can just remember the pure exhilarating exhaustion after that day and craving more! Even though I couldn't pull myself off the couch the next day, I knew that Lord had in store an amazing ride for me and that things were just getting started!

Our campus as a whole has been growing pretty steadily over the last two years and with more adults comes more kids! We grew from around a 70 kid average to around a 115 kid average in just 2 years! We were having an absolute blast! The Lord had assembled a killer team and I mean I have been getting to be part of kids learning who Jesus is.... Goodness that is something to celebrate!

BUT then something changed.... After years of praying, God gave me a baby... A baby of my own! Never in a million years, did I think that deciding to stay home with her would turn out to be such a challenging decision.

You see.... I now know that I was going to stay home with her all along, but as soon as I became pregnant, I was trying to convince myself and the Lord that I could do both... To love and raise this sweet daughter of ours AND lead our Lockwood Kids... But as soon as Sweet Avery Jane landed in my arms, I knew God was releasing me from my responsibilities at Harvest.

My heart was torn... I felt as if I was letting down a number of people I loved: my boss, my volunteers, my church... But every time I would begin to think that, I would hear myself think, "This is God's church not mine... His ministry not mine." God will take care of His church... He used me for a season, but now it's a new season... A season of motherhood.

So, I told my boss... He was more than supportive and even excited for me... Which made it even more bittersweet. His words to me were, "You have been great, and it will be hard to replace you, but nobody can replace you as Avery’s mom so give her all you’ve got. You have my deepest respect and sincerest gratitude both for your service to Harvest and your commitment to your family."

So, the decision has been made... To stay home with Sweet Avery Jane... He's right nobody can replace me as her mom and I intend to give her all I've got! I know I will NEVER regret this decision!

With heavy, but happy heart I am saying goodbye to my role at Harvest for now and hello to full-time mommyhood!