Running.... A constant struggle...

Running..... Why is running for so many people, including myself, such a struggle? We know we should do it... We know it's really good for us... We all know the benefits of running. We know it's good on us both physically and mentally, yet we don't do it. OR when we do run, we run for maybe a mile and call it good OR we run twice a week for a few weeks then winter comes and we tell ourselves "it's too cold out" or summer comes and "it's too hot out." There's always an excuse not to run...

For me, running is truly a love/hate relationship. First finding the motivation to run is the hardest part... Then when I find the motivation, pushing past the first mile becomes excruciating..... Then comes the boredom.... The boredom of running can become tormenting (at least for me).... But no matter the negativity "running" through my head, something inside of me tells me to keep going... Then I am all of a sudden on mile 2.5 and feeling pretty good.... My breathing becomes more regular, my heart rate definitely faster but steading as well, my head starts to clear and all most out of no where, I can focus my thoughts. I find myself thinking of things like: "Wow, what an incredible sunset.... Look at those fall leaves, amazing..... The human body is so crazy...... God is so good to me... Too good to me... Thank You, Lord."  And what started as such a struggle strangely becomes such a powerful moment of worship....

I had told Casey earlier in the week that I'm starting to think running is a really powerful way to worship God for me, but running is still sooo hard.... As I was running last night, I really began to think about this; to ponder this relationship I have with running. And it was like one of those slap in the face moments where God really reveals something to you.

You see, I love God... I do... but when it comes to spending time with Him in His Word, I find myself making excuses a lot.... "I'll read my Bible after I do the laundry... Once the dishes are done I will DEFINITELY sit down with God.... It's so nice outside, I will catch up with God after I play in the sun for a little bit....." Last night (while running), God really said to me my "spending time with Him" was slowly resembling (you guessed it) my relationship with running.....

Like running, I know spending time with God is really good for me.... Like running, I know all the benefits of spending time with God.... Like running, I know that spending time with God is good on me both physically and mentally, yet I don't do it as often as I should... Ugh.... what a convicting feeling....

Am I really going to sit back and let my relationship with God be like my relationship with running: inconsistent, filled with complaints and a constant struggle? OR am I going to push passed the second mile through all the cramps, shallow breaths, and pain to receive the known benefits??

How humbling to be running and realize that even when I think things are great and I am doing well and have things together, God knows better, knows I can do better,  and wants better for me.  See... Jesus never told us that this being a Christian thing was going to be easy, yet we expect it to be.... BUT we all know running will NEVER be easy, and we NEVER expect it to be easy.... So why then, WHY do we expect spending time getting to know Jesus and becoming a better Christ follower to be easy??

Running takes pushing past the pain and the discomfort to receive the benefits..... Is it so weird that loving Jesus better takes pushing past the pain of living differently and all the discomforts of changing who we once were to become who Jesus wants us to be?

In that moment of conviction last night, I chose the latter.... I want my relationship with Jesus to resemble that of a "trained runner." A runner who knows that sometimes running will be easier than other times, but will most likely be hard most of the time.... But they are always able to remind themselves of  how beneficial the run will be. A runner who has the heart and discipline for the sport to always strive for improvement.... I want to love Christ like this, with the knowledge it may not always be easy, but it will always be worth it.... It will most likely be hard, but will always be rewarding in the end.

Lord, please forgive me for my inconsistencies with You. Forgive me for my ignorance in thinking that knowing You better and becoming more like You should be easy. Thank You for humbling me to examine my time spent with You and making sure I'm always pushing forward.  Lord, give me Your strength to to get better.... Thank you for your modern day parables that You use to sharpen me... Thank You, Lord, even for conviction.... Help me to become a better, more disciplined runner.... Both in the literal and spiritual sense.... I also pray for those reading this.... That they will want better for themselves in order to better represent You.... Give us all YOUR strength.... Amen.

Arieanna